My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor
." I asked her, "Where's the car?"
She replied, "In the lake."
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
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I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.
So I got myself two girlfriends.
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same: "You can have mine."
It's not true that married men live longer than single men.
Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
